Top Ten Ways to Make a Woman Angry

I don’t know if it’s the end of summer and everyone is at the peak of laziness/apathy, or if there are just several men who are acting a little stupid lately, but I want to post this as a public service announcement. Please take note.

10. Leave your laundry on the bathroom floor – We are not your maid nor your mother. It is laundrynearly as easy to remove your clothes and put them in the hamper as it is to toss them on the bathroom floor. We hate walking into the bathroom and stepping on your clothes, especially your underwear. (You know the reason as well as we do.) We hate hunting for your socks behind the toilet. Just put your clothing in the appropriate receptacle and avoid the problem.

9. Whining – We know that things don’t always go your way. We know that you’re working hard and that you have a lot on your plate. So do we. Whining does not make it better, in fact, it makes the situation nearly unbearable. Please. If you want to complain, at least find a creative way to do it.

8. Anger at stupid things – This might seem hypocritical, but seriously, when you want to kick someone’s ass for cutting you off in traffic, we want to kick your ass.

7. Call watching YOUR children “baby-sitting” – When you spend time with your children without their mother you are NOT baby-sitting. What you are doing is being a father. Fatherhood is frightening, confusing, messy and chaotic. So is motherhood. Mothers do not have all the answers. We’re winging it just like you are. Creating children takes two. So does raising them.

6. Treating us as if we’re irrational…all the time – Look. We know that there are certain times of the month that we may seem a little bit emotional, or out of sorts. But that’s not every day. Sometimes we have a point and if you ask if it’s “that time of the month” we’re going to be upset. Even if it is “that time” why would that make what we say invalid?

5. Minimize her feelings – this one goes along with number six. Even if we might, maybe, could be irrational. The feelings we are having are real and disregarding them doesn’t make them go away. In fact, if we ignore our feelings they just get bottled up and the situation gets worse and worse. If we are feeling angry, sad or anxious, don’t tell us to NOT feel that way. Say that you understand and bring us a cup of tea, some chocolate, and listen. We’ll be happier…and so will you.

action-figures4. Putting too much stock in toys – Okay we understand that you like the X-box. We have things that we like too. We know you might have a passion for firearms, or games, or…I don’t know…action figures. Whatever it is, people are more important than your toys. Your children, your significant other, your parents, visitors, all more important. Keep your priorities straight. If someone breaks a toy, be polite, it’s okay to be upset. It’s not okay to act as if the world is about to end or to make whoever broke it feel as if they are worthless.

3. Laugh at her passion – This blog is primarily for writers, but all women have something that is their passion. Trust me, there is a fire within her for something. If she shares it with you and you treat it as if it is a joke, you’ll not only make her angry, you’ll extinguish some of that fire. Instead of laughing at her, take some time to explore her passion with her. You’ll learn something about her that will fascinate you. You’ll get a glimpse of her that she won’t show you unless she feels safe. We promise, she will come alive and you’ll be amazed at the depth of your love.

2. Ignoring magic – Magic exists. It is all around us, and most of the women I know can see it. There is magic at the turning of the seasons. There is magic in the birth of a child, in new love, in old love, in music, in poetry. Most women can see it, grow with it and enjoy it. If we try to share something magical with you, it’s probably in your best interest to agree that whatever we are speaking of is beautiful. Or at least smile and nod. If we’re trying to share magic with you and you just stare at us and then say, “Hey, did you pay the car payment? It was due yesterday.” We’re going to be really angry.

1. Forgetting to show compassion – The ability to imagine another person’s plight is part of what makes us human. Too often, we forget to try to see a person’s life through their eyes. Lacking compassion makes us judgmental and negative. Without compassion, we’re dooming ourselves to see the world through a single pair of eyes – our own. How boring! And how empty! If you want to keep us happy, practice compassion with everyone you meet. Try to understand your fellow beings on their terms. Not only will it keep us happy, you will live a more fulfilled life. It will allow you to see people as God does, as wonderful, fallible beings full of potential and promise.

compassionate

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Top Ten Tuesday

Hey Firefans,

We decided to try something new this month, a weekly “Top Ten List” about writers. Whether these will continue to be humorous, sarcastic, or downright bitter, I simply cannot predict. Coming from our group, I suspect you will see a bit of each.

This one is based on a few things I’ve come across during the last year- having admitted to the world that I like to write fiction. Lots of polite-yet-unsettled smiles and awkward silences at family picnics, if ya know what I mean. So I thought I’d start with a list of our quirks to get this stuff out there in the open, hopefully save a fellow writer somewhere a little embarrassment.

Top 10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Fiction Writers

10 – We compare real people to fictional characters. (Sorry about that one folks. It’s morally unjustifiable. We know. But it’s truth.)

9- We have imaginary friends. (Otherwise known as fictional characters.)

8 -Writers are not afraid of hard work. Most of us have other jobs, and besides writing is really *&#*#! hard work, most of the time!

7- That being said, there is such a thing as self-induced writers block. And procrastination can be friend as well as foe.

6- We do not wear sweaters all the time, own multiple cats, and drink coffee religiously. Eduard “Santa” Gorey and kitty.

(Well…I do adore a good cardigan. By pure coincidence, I own two cats and and… Okay can we just scratch this one?)

5- All writers are not grammar freaks. We write incomplete sentences, misuse apostrophes, change tenses inappropriately all the time. We have just become adept at finding mistakes and fixing them before you see.

4 – We don’t always write what we know. I mean, really? That’s like going to an amusement park for the first time and only riding the parking lot shuttle.

3 – You probably aren’t in our novel.

(Along with this, please don’t ask us if you can be in our novel.)

2-  Some modified version of something you did or said at any given moment in time is probably in our novel.

Including you having asked if you can be in our novel.

 

And the Number One Thing You Probably Didn’t Know About Fiction Writers…

1-  Most of us aren’t writing to get published, get on the NY Times Bestseller list and become famous authors drinking imported Italian coffee and buying diamond studded collars for our rooms full of cats.

We aren’t writing because it’s a hobby either.

We’re writing because, as Gloria Steinem said:

“It’s the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel like I should be doing something else.”

Until next time,

~C